Harry Potter and the Misguided Mother

Recently my daughter brought her Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix to our homeschool group enrichment day for show-and-tell. Who knew it would cause such a stir.A mom I have a good relationship with was stunned to silence when she saw the book. All morning she struggled to find the right words to let me know how she felt about my daughter bringing Harry Potter to show-and-tell. When I asked her what was troubling her, she paused and told me, “I teach my daughter the difference between good and evil. I teach my daughter that there is no grey area. Only God and Satan.” She went on to say that Harry Potter books are not something she would ever allow her daughter to read because they have things in them that are so purely wrong.

And that’s where my ears stopped listening. I was stunned and hurt and angry. I felt as thought this mother was telling me that I had handed my child a book on “how to become Satan’s friend” and we would both be condemned to an eternity in Hell. I felt belittled and stupid. What did she think my daughter was going to do during Show and Tell? Madeline didn’t read any part of the book, nor did she try to convince the other kids that magic is real.

Does this mother know that Harry Potter is a fantasy? Fantasy books are not real. Madeline knows that, too. So why are people so afraid of Harry? What has he done to offend so many?And as for the ‘grey area’? Don’t we live in the grey? God is white. Satan is black. We are neither perfectly good, nor perfectly evil. That’s grey. It’s where we are. And don’t books provide a road map? Can’t we learn through the characters of a book how to navigate through life?

Then I mistakenly tried to defend my reasons for allowing Madeline to read these books. I was caught off-guard by my perception of her accusations. Was she telling me that I was a bad mother? Was I condemning my child to a life of sin by allowing her to read these books?And more importantly, why did she feel the need to say anything at all? Madeline wasn’t offering to loan the books out. She didn’t try to convince her classmates that Harry was real and that we were heading to Olivander’s to buy her own wand. What purpose did her comments serve?

And then…retribution. As the students lined up to leave for their next class, one of the girls dropped a handful of tiny paper scraps. Madeline saw the distress on the girl’s face and immediately left her place in line to help. This girl has shown no signs of friendship to Madeline (a point she has worried about in the past), but that didn’t stop her from helping. I noticed this and encouraged the other students to help too, stating that it would be a great model of Christian Stewardship to help a friend in need.

No one helped.

Even after the other moms told their kids to get out of line and assist in the clean-up, the children only did so after sighing and rolling their eyes.

After class, I asked Madeline why she helped. She told me, “That’s what friends do.”

“And where did you learn that?” I asked.

Her answer was the most satisfying reply. She told me that she was learning how to be a good friend from the books she was reading. Laura Ingalls Wilder had many run-ins with other children. Judy Blume’s characters handled problems in funny ways, but Madeline saw how people react and has internalized that information for her own real-life situations. She also mentioned the friendship between Harry, Ron and Hermione. She said they always stick together, even when other kids make fun of them. They fight, but they always forgive each other.

Did you hear that? My daughter learned from a fantasy book. She learned that people need people and friends need help even if you lose your place in line. She is reading the problems characters have and learning the lessons for herself. Wouldn’t life be easier if we could learn those painful lessons before they actually hurt us? That’s what reading fiction (and, yes, fantasy too) can do for us.

And so, I need to take a page from my daughter’s book. I forgive my friend for accusing me of giving my daughter evil literature. I hope she forgives me for bearing a grudge against her for making me feel like a horrible mother. And I thank all the authors who write stories, real or imagined, that I have read and will read, that my daughters have read and will discover, for giving us the opportunity to live and learn about people and conflict through the safety of the written word.